rhodes musings

this weekend i travelled to regina for a rhodes scholarship interview. suffice to say, i didn't win.

this outcome has left me with rather mixed feelings. a part of me is sad - winning something like the rhodes would be rather nice - great experience, great education, great people, great on the resume; however, i think an even larger part of me is quite relieved - let me explain why:

over the past few weeks i have been filling out-of-sorts. the spectre of potentially having to leave home so soon again was like a little raincloud sitting on my head. over the past 6 years, i've lived in a few places - edmonton, boston, and beijing. every move i make, you say goodbye to your friends and the people you care for, travel to a new place, spend time forging new friendships, and then say goodbye to them all over. the cycle gets to be a bit annoying after a while. and sometimes people say (myself included) that friendships don't change when you move far, far away - well, let me say that that's absolute bollocks. seeing people way less is change, no matter how you slice it.

i don't know why emotionally i'm such a homebody. i feel that the friends i met at harvard do not suffer from this particular affliction. i'm sure many of them have lived in more places over a shorter period of time than i have. i'm not sure if i should even be calling this an affliction...